One student told me that, in the midst of her deep sorrow, she also felt guilty about feeling eager to write her final papers and was worried she would be judged for not mourning in the “right” way. players who were eager to play in the wake of Bryant’s death also had mixed feelings — because they are being judged. LeBron James was skewered online for not immediately posting about his friend and mentor: “Why are you not posting Kobe? Public grieving doesn’t happen in a single community where there are shared social norms for how to react, like sitting shiva or walking in a second line. Unfortunately, introducing blame into the grieving process causes people to question whether they are dealing with loss the right way and to feel guilty about what they do, say and feel.

Source: New York Times February 03, 2020 00:00 UTC